My life has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. I have been in denial of the reality that I have ADHD, after all this is a "male dominant disorder".
My journey started when I begun having my son evaluated for undiagnosed Learning Disabilities. All the years of testing through his school, still my son was really struggling. I ended up having him tested comprehensively by a Neuro-Educational Psychologist. Our last visit to this doctor was a consultation on all his findings. The words came out of his mouth, your son falls under the criteria of severe ADHD, in addition to other Learning Disabilities. The other disabilites, I had already suspected. The doctor started to review the findings with me describing ADHD; and, he might of well described me. I started to mentally shut down into a place of half coherent and half alert to full blown "spaced out". The doctor kept on talking, I saw his mouth move but didn't hear a single word after the description of ADHD. At that moment, I wanted to flee the office and never look back. I stayed in a dazed state until he finally finished the report. I shook my head as if I was comprehending throughout, I was clueless to what he was saying. My mental state was fully shaken. I went to my car and started to cry. My son inherited the condition from me. Deep down I always knew I had ADHD, it was suggested to me back in college my first year. I had started college taking Basic Skills to develop the skills necessary for me to be successful in college. I struggled my whole life through school, barely passing. I was the "lazy student who didn't apply myself". I was often called out by teachers for answers, who clearly knew I was daydreaming. I became the student who was most often laughed at in classes. By the time I was in high school, I was nicknamed "Airy Mary".That nickname I completed detested.
I graduated college, not with a perfect GPA and struggled with tutors my way through. I ended up at an office job for a small medical practice. I eventually had children, 2 boys. After the birth of my 2nd son, I stayed home helping my husband build his company and to raise my sons. I was always bored just staying home and involved myself in multiple volunteer opportunities. I always felt like a failure; and, I was determined to stop being one. I was a coach for Baseball (head coach), Football, Soccer (head coach & 1 year director of their 5-yr old program), and Basketball (head coach). I joined the Parent Teacher's Association and became the President. I was a Sunday school teacher, led Woman's Bible Studies and was a youth leader and ended up being the head leader for my town. I still felt failure. I couldn't keep up with housework, my organizational duties, raising my children and keeping my cool. I would fly off the handle at the littliest things. I felt like my head was spinning and I, at times, was out of control.
As my boys got older and my oldest was getting close to college age, I decided to go back to work. I worked at a group home for a very short period of time. One of the men there had such talent and easily could have held a job. He was bused daily to a structured workshop and it drove me crazy. I began to research different social service positions and found a job I thought I would love. It was in the field of Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling: Job Coaching/Employment Specialist. I found a job in a small company, every day was different. Each student had their own challenges and it was my job to create modifications to make their job go more smoothly and efficiently. I found I am very creative. I would read the IEP of some of the students I had worked with. I would read about a challenging area in that students life, one of the IEPs stated the student doesn't understand measurements (ex. 1/2 cup etc..) Yet that student wanted to work in the culinary field. The business this student worked at had a single measuring cup. The student had to measure out ingredients in the position of prep cook using the single measuring cup. I created a color chart for the measurements and used colored tape on the measuring cup corresponding to each measurement. The student was successful and I found my niche. Seven years later, I work as an administrator in a private school. I am in charge of the vocational component of their adult program.
How did I use my ADHD to make change? First, I found I am very creative and think outside the box. Second, I finally admitted to myself I have ADHD. The memory issues, the disorganization, the lack of focus, the anger and my chaotic ways had to change. I sought treatment for my ADHD, I take Adderall daily with helps with the focus. I am in cognitive behavioral therapy to help with my impulse control and anger. I now use my ADHD to inspire my clients to be the best they can be. My mantra is not the let your disability define you. I tell them their difference is not stamped on your forehead, use your positive traits you have to achieve success. I often have them reflect on their positive attributes. Finally, when I let my clients in on my "secret" I have ADHD, it inspires them to dig deep and reach their goals. ADHD has been a journey for me, I found it to be a blessing and a curse. It is not so much a curse when you seek the appropriate treatment for it. I have also ventured into Special Education Advocacy, I am writing and in the final stages of starting parent workshops for Special Education advocacy, support, and acceptance of various disabilites I like to call differences.
